Self Confidence: How To Gain It And How To Lose It

I can’t speak enough about self confidence as you don’t know what you have until you lose it. Why is self confidence so important? Because, understanding our own significance impacts whether we value others in this world.  Because when we know that we are loved and cared for, we can confidently give, lead, teach, and invest in others. My personal definition of self confidence is “Knowing what I do each day is significant and will impact others. I’m intelligent, important, valuable, and I can change my world.”

I’ve come to realize that children today don’t seem to develop confidence in their own abilities and giftedness leading to obvious issues as they try to succeed in the world today.  How do you get confidence?  How do you bestow confidence into your children?  How do you help those around you who have lost or never had confidence?  I began to wonder about these things myself.  And, I found some answers that I want to share with you.

I didn’t value nor think much about self confidence until I lost it. There came a time when my abilities, motives, and skills were questioned. It was at this low time that I contemplated the importance of feeling confident in my ability to care for myself, be a good mother, wife, teacher, traveler, and friend.


I would consider the place that I was at to be rock bottom.  But, that is where I discovered who I was.  I am created unique.  I have strengths and weaknesses.  My strengths are increasing over the years and my weaknesses are getting less.  That is when I realized too, you are unique.  You have strengths and weaknesses and too those weaknesses are becoming less while your strengths are growing.  That is the journey of life.  But, its not up to you or me to make ourselves.  We are incapable.  But, when we realize our value, we realize that we are loved by the one who created us and when we lean into Him, he will carry us in our weakness.  It is this value of life that allows us to change others, allows us to raise our children confidently without fear which damages them, it allows us to love freely knowing that no matter what pain, that love is right and our maker will carry us through!  I love life.  I love giving love and life into others.  I love seeing those around me increase in their self confidence so that their unique skills and gifts are poured out in abundance to others.

The beautiful recovery was truly a dance with my maker that can only be described through images as much of it seems like a dream.

Recovery: Aha Moments On My Pictorial Path Home

It was on this beach 2 years ago, I sat and prayed.  “Please God give me the confidence again to help those around me with the gifts you’ve given me!”


It was on this nature walk in Hong Kong that I shared my vulnerable side with my love and with close friends.  Instead of pretending to be strong, I allowed them to see my weaknesses and then bring truth to the dark places of my heart.  


Choosing to smile, choosing joy, choosing happiness, and choosing to laugh before the feeling actually came.  These actions led to true happiness as often we have to walk by faith assured that we will receive by sight.

So, how did I lose my self confidence?  I believed what others said about me, those who didn’t know me well.  I internalized what I thought others thought about me whether they thought it or not.

The key to emotional happiness is to know who you are in the eyes of the one who made you. . . YOU!

I discovered who I was and am.  I am compassionate and brave.  I love helping the sick and poor.  I am a good teacher, mother, and wife.  I love to lead people especially those who want to know my savior.  My question for you: who are you?  Tell me your strengths and who gets to benefit from you?  Lets talk about it.  Comment here or message me privately.  I would love to hear from you!

2 Comments on “Self Confidence: How To Gain It And How To Lose It

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